Captured Phrases as Food for Thought
For the sheer entertainment of your sense of humor
By Keeley KristinPosted Jun 13, 2012
So we have little things that stick with us throughout our lives – little knick-knacks, certain songs, what have you. I tend to write everything down, so I’ve got a slew of journals over the years. I always carry a book with me because you never know when you’ll hear something worth remembering. Along my way I’ve acquired a list of what I like to call ‘bullsh*t phrases,’ which is comprised of stupid things people say to try and make someone else feel better and the thoughts they provoked in my mind.
Rejection only makes you stronger.
No, it doesn’t. Whoever coined this phrase obviously never experienced the rejection of the 21st century. Rejection sucks, rejection hurts, and rejection is for losers. It only makes you weaker in the end, because had you been good enough in the first place, you would have never gotten rejected. So next time someone tries to ease your mind with these stupid words of encouragement, smack them in the head as hard as you can and ask them how that felt.
Love conquers all.
Eh, not always. Just because it worked out that way between Aragorn and Arwen doesn’t mean it will work out that way for…oh, say…humans. I know you sentimentalists out there like to believe that the power of love is capable of conquering things like separation, adultery and other forms of strife, but we realists know that ultimately, it just ain’t so. Love just doesn’t conquer the fact that your Mr. or Mrs. Right had inappropriate relations with someone other than you. After all, you might forgive, but will you forget??
Secrets don’t make friends.
Yes they do. How do you think the first set of friends ever became BEST friends? By keeping secrets, that’s how. Think about it: If a friend tells you something in confidence, it makes you feel solid and trustworthy. What kind of world would this be if there were no secrets? C’mon people…start the whispering. Besides, this phrase is only something the jealous people say.
It’s not you… It’s me.
So we’ve all heard this phrase at one point or another, and as both the speaker and receiver of these crap-loaded words, I’m here to tell you that it’s all a lie: It really is you. Don’t fall for the “it’s me, really” b.s.; just accept that there is something about you that your significant other can’t stand and move on to the next victim. And remember: It’s always someone else’s fault.
Only the strong survive.
No they don’t. Think about this phrase used in a team setting (which just also happens to be b.s.): “You’re only as strong as your weakest link.” If you have one weak link in a team full of strength, the odds of losing are slim to none because essentially, those who are strong wind up compensating for those who are weak and joila! – just like that, your weak ass has survived as well.
The truth will set you free.
Eh, no it won’t – at least not in all circumstances. The truth is often painful and, in many cases, ankle-binding and guilty of holding you back. Have you ever been in a situation where finding out the truth actually scarred you for life, maybe even inhibited your ability to function on a level playing ground? In times like these, it’s best to remember that what you don’t know won’t hurt you because in many cases, it’s often true.
Nothing in life is free.
Yes it is – if you take it and no one sees you. You know as a kid standing in the candy aisle that you swiped a few pieces of bubble gum. Everyone did. But, you might say, for such actions there is an emotional price to pay. So now we’re pricing feelings? Remember the phrase “the truth will set you free?” And my response was “no it won’t.” Think about that.